Drag Wars 2017 – The Qualifying Heat

***First of all a little warning! This post contains Adult themes and “bad” explicit language. I am so fucking sorry. But it has to be done on this one guys!*** On the 15th September I decided to take my Dad along with me to Drag Wars for his birthday. Yep that’s right…My Dad! Reluctantly he said yes as Drew (Blu Chyna) was in the running and Drew is someone that as I’ve said before, I’ve grown up with. Insert yet another casual plug about Blu Chyna.. subtle I know.

 

 

 

   

What is Drag Wars?

Lets start with a little info before I go straight into “My pussy is burning!” yep… burning. Drag Wars is Gloucester’s answer to a drag race, where queens come to compete for £100, The title of Gloucestershire’s Next Drag Superstar, a performance at Gloucester Pride 2018, A performance at Black Country Pride 2018, A performance at RainbowFest: UnicornUS 2018, A performance at Bitter Sour in Brighton, A makeup bundle courtesy of Stella Von Klutch Cosmetics and a professional photo shoot by Fiona Lord Photography. So a hella lot of stuff! It literally is the perfect way to kick start your career as a queen!

Each act gets 10 minutes to wow the audience and the judging panel; Misty Lee, Ruby Slippers, Monica Tension and the current winner Count Addiction. They each get a mark out of 10 from each judge which then gets added to the audience vote slips, these are given to the audience each time they buy a drink. Although the judges may have came across as well… savage af! They were defiantly saying what everyone else in the room was thinking! Hosted by the hilarious Misty Monique and Eva Fliction I was surprised at how professional this competition was in Gloucester! So here’s my personal opinion on this years heat;

First of let me say its very easy for me to judge the contestants as I really have no experience in Drag other than watching a lot of acts abroad and let me just say fair play to every single person who even got up on stage in the first place because damn that was tough. And the turn out was big. So I was looking for someone who was hilarious and just well … slayed. Not too much to ask right?

Yaass Queen Yaass

I’m just going to go in order right now. Jessie and Lilly Love. Now I am trying not to go full on bitch mode because I feel like the judges did that for me but Jessie, please just come back on your own. Like every single shot I have is of you because I was drawn in. This girl ran the show so it was a shame to see her sink with Lilly. I’m not sure if it was first on nerves or what. They tried to do a classic Higher or Lower game which I think they could have pulled off but due to the time limit failed. But yeah… Jessie. On your ones please.
Paris Elle L’a Grande. I had the pleasure of meeting Paris at Pride this year, and I am glad I did because the makeup she had on compared to Pride was amazing! Her performance was a lot better than I thought it was going to be so I was pleasantly surprised.
 Luna Lakes. Just damn girl. Like I put on my snapchat “The competition has started!” From the second Luna came out she set the standard. Hilarious in her music choices and unafraid to approach the judges she simply wowed me. I have never met Luna before and speaking to her during breaks she remained in character and professional and that really sold her for me. Like wig on, in the zone.
Bumboy Sapphire. Princess Diana fans turn away now. She came out with controversy and this sick bitch killed it. She told the whole life of Princess Diana and when she turned around with the car noises we all knew it was coming but did we want to believe it? Covered in blood and a candle in the wind playing she fully went for it. 0 to 100 real quick. Wigs flying everywhere. Like damn girl, yes.
Blu Chyna. With a modern take on Drag Blu slayed. My boo. Dancing yes. Lip syncing yes. That tuck, yes! Like she had the crowd going crazy with her dancing and very modern music. However the only thing lacking from this queen is the comedy factor that I crave. Although she was amusing compared to some queens this was her one downfall in my eyes. But for her first ever performance my boo smashed it.
       Cindy Spuss. Her first song was boring and repetitive for me but she instantly pulled it back with a little skit about… yep you guessed it her burning pussy. Her skit and chat reminded me of all of the old drag performances that I have loved to watch. Hilarious jokes. Could take jokes herself and knew how to take the piss out of everyone including herself. She to me is what real drag is all about. That difference between chucking on a wig and watching a few series or RuPauls drag race and an actual comedy show you would pay and watch a full hour of.
       Marla B.Zarre. Yes for the homemade outfit, no for the actual performance. I just didn’t get it. I am sorry. I was just confused, I didn’t get the comedy. But what I will say is well done for actually singing! That takes guts.
Isabell End. Is not what I would call drag look wise. But brought it back old school with some classic crowd pleasers and was funny!

So my Dad was obviously like what the actual fuck, and not just because there was a man in a dress on stage calling him a cunt but also because he secretly enjoyed it! He was definitely out of his comfort zone! But if he can give it ago so can you!

And this years Finalists are:

  • Isabell End
  • Marla B.Zarre
  • Blu Chyna
  • Luna Lakes

“I thought it went really well! And I was shocked by some of the performances and the results!” – Misty Monique.  

Who my finalists were:

  • Blu Chyna
  • Luna Lakes
  • Cindy Spuss
  • Bumboy Sapphire

So two of my faves are in! 2/4 ain’t bad ay? And god I am looking forward to seeing what they all come out with. Bring on the finals on the 29th September @ The Station Hotel Gloucester from 8pm (well this is queens.. probably 9).

Now lets end this post on some of my fave sassy pictures (I’ve actually included some blur ones because they were too fabulous to delete!). Starting with my fave picture of Blu Chyna finding out she had actually got in with the highest audience vote.

 

 

  


 

 

 

 

 

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