You Are Pretty! You Know, For a Fat Girl.

We are back again with the campaigning and it is my turn so we are going to get a little personal! Woo… emosh times. This is a thing I have struggled with through out my whole life. Today we are here to talk about being called “fat”. Yep that one. I bet you wondered when this was going to come up!

My body weight has been an issue my whole life, I have tried fad diets, not eating etc.. and it has really became a dark issue surrounding my life that has followed me everywhere. And I would say 98% of the time I have been called fat by girls. “Fat” is a word that every girl hates. So sometimes when it is used it’s literally just used as a weapon to hurt you regardless of your size. Whether you are a size 8 or a size 22 you have once in your life been called fat by some bitch.

But first I want to quickly talk about the other side… The bad versions of “skinny”. So I have friends who have been desperate to put weight on and have struggled due to high metabolisms and other health altercations. It is also not, I repeat not, okay to be horrible to people who are “too skinny”. “You need a cheeseburger” is something I have heard frequently said to my friends and it is not ok. They are trying. The same goes for men. Being called skinny is not ok.

As I have never dealt with those comments it’s not something I can talk too much about! So here is the fat side of things. I am currently a size 12/14 and my weight is constantly going between size 10-14. At one stage I was an 18 but I felt deeply unhappy within myself so I lost a lot of weight. I have spent nights crying over my body and my weight. I have spent nights crying over what people thought of me or comments they have made. I am a comfort eater and I also eat to punish myself to make my self feel shitter as part of my mental health. So my relationship with food is really love hate.

When is it okay to comment on someones weight?

Unless you are a medical professional and they have come to see you or You are a really close family member or a friend who has a genuine concern about unhealthy habits then you need to keep your lips sealed. Do not add to people’s bad emotional states. Do not judge people. You have no clue what is going on in their life. You do not know if that person is going through treatment so they have put weight on as a side effect, if they are going through any mental health concerns or what. Keep your negativity to yourself. Same goes for the skinny side. This is the same for both men and women. And that’s that.

Hey Fatty!

I laugh now looking back at some of the comments when I was back at school of being called fat and me crying because do you know what, I was a size 10! That was the slimmest I have ever been in my life. What a joke! I wish I could be like “Girl stop crying, don’t turn to comfort eating, do you know how hard it’s going to be to maintain that soon!”.

I hate when people say bigger girls are unattractive or when people claim to love “curves” but what they mean by curves is a tiny waist and with big boobs and big thighs and bum. Girls have belly’s and that’s that. They actually serve a lot or purpose believe it or not… not everyone is going to have a flat stomach and that does not make them unattractive.

How People See Themselves.

People can see themselves in different ways. Completely different to how we see them depending on confidence. Here’s a little visual representation of that.

“Skinny”

“Fat”

“Unedited”

Now here’s the big thing. Unless someone is unhealthy with their weight or habits and that goes for either side of the scale. Then I am all for diversity and different shapes. We need to all stop being so concerned about people’s appearances and start to comment on things that actually matter.

I am Pretty! You Know, for any type of girl.

Don’t forget to check out our last campaign post; You Are Pretty! You Know, For a Tattooed Girl. 

You can hit me up on insta; @iyalouisas

And for photography our photographer as always is @graceeperryphotography or you can find her on her new site here.

32 Comments

  1. 27th June 2018 / 4:17 pm

    Well done for this post, I have never been skinny, never felt pretty, when I met my husband I was a size 20, now I am a 14 bottom 18 top, it is only recently that I have started to see what he sees. As I tell my Daughter beauty comes from within x

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      27th June 2018 / 6:30 pm

      Love this! ❤️❤️❤️

  2. 27th June 2018 / 5:34 pm

    I can really relate to this post sadly, but I’m coming to terms that I will never be the ‘ideal’ size and I love myself nonetheless

    Sophie | http://www.sophiesspot.co.uk

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      27th June 2018 / 6:31 pm

      Yes hunnie!! ❤️

  3. 28th June 2018 / 2:24 am

    I am so over this, we should stop judging people based on their weight because we all have our own struggles and most of the time that includes our eating habits and our health. We should definitely consider what they might be going through before we say something that could hurt them. This goes too for the skinny girls out there.

  4. 28th June 2018 / 4:28 am

    I get so frustrated when people think it’s okay to comment on someone else’s weight, clothes or hairstyle, whatever. When did we grow so judgemental? I am glad you shared this, you are beautiful!

  5. 28th June 2018 / 4:39 am

    Oh, my gosh! You are adorable. Beautiful in every way. Glad you have a great perspective on life.

  6. Elizabeth O
    28th June 2018 / 4:15 pm

    There is such a motivating and inspiring message in this post. I agree with what you are saying indeed! I think you have a lovely figure and are very beautiful.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      28th June 2018 / 5:38 pm

      Thank you xo

  7. 28th June 2018 / 4:39 pm

    I am also for diversity. We cannot be in one shape and color. But in my case, I would like to lose weight some more. I am short, so being fat means I look like a ball. And I don’t feel good either because of the weight. I think I will be good to lose 10 lbs more.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      28th June 2018 / 5:39 pm

      If you are loosing it for you and not to please others then go for it! I am currently looking to live a healthier lifestyle and loose a bit of weight too xo

      • 3rd July 2018 / 12:55 am

        That is so true Iya. My goal is to have more energy and to prevent back pains and knee pains because of excess weight. I am not very fat. Just about 20 lbs overweight. When I lose that, I would feel very good. But even if I lose just 10 lbs and keep it off, I think I am already fine with it.

        • iyalouisa
          Author
          3rd July 2018 / 6:24 am

          You go girl 👌🏽👌🏽

  8. 28th June 2018 / 5:13 pm

    I love this concept and relevant blog and social posts about “You are pretty for a [fill the blanks]! The idea that I am an advocate of is that aesthetic judgements must not be disguised as health concerns. Being too fat and being too skinny can lead to some health disease, no matter how beautiful you are. But if you are healthy, well… there’s no need to put anyone down because that “being healthy” is not alined with common beauty stereotypes

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      28th June 2018 / 5:40 pm

      Like I said if you are healthy then you should not be judged!

  9. 28th June 2018 / 11:14 pm

    Ok you are not fat #1.

    #2, people and girls (in general) can be so mean sometimes – we need to stop bashing each other and start lifting each other up.
    #3 I love how positive and motivational you are in this post. You can tell it was very raw and you let yourself be vulnerable. Love ya for it!

    and remember, you’re beautiful!

    Keep being awesome! <3

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      28th June 2018 / 11:18 pm

      Thank you so much!! ❤️❤️😘

  10. 29th June 2018 / 4:31 am

    100% agree with all of this, sorry that you’ve been on the receiving end of so much judgement. It’s time people start focusing on much more important issues.

  11. 29th June 2018 / 6:13 pm

    oh my, the title of your post made me cringe – how dare anyone to shame anyone for their weight – no matter what size! I have been on the receiving end of this – was never able to gain any weight until I got an illness that has weight gain as one of its symptoms – well, I am still a size 7 but my (a@#hole) of a husband decided to make gym comments (I have EDS, which means I dislocate my joints easily, and causes hernias – so not going to happen), like I should join one, wow.
    Well, as you can see, that post triggered something in me, so I am going to stop before I throw a hole bunch of people under the bus, lol

    Blessings

    Claudia

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      29th June 2018 / 9:27 pm

      Vent it out girl! People have no idea how comments actually affect people! Do what is best for you and forget everyone else 😘

  12. Jennifer Prince
    29th June 2018 / 10:09 pm

    I wouldn’t even consider her fat. And such an interesting series. Glad you are able to encourage others with your work.

  13. Jana
    30th June 2018 / 1:51 am

    I love that you are sharing this and we should never judge people for their look. Self-love is so important and it what matters the most. You are beautiful.

  14. 30th June 2018 / 8:34 am

    So True! The idea of perfection is different for everyone and it is important that we stop bothering about what others think. Our focus should be on a healthy lifestyle and not being the ‘ideal’ size.

  15. 30th June 2018 / 9:55 am

    I can definitely relate! Ever since, I’ve been the slim type and unfairly, people would call me skinny and such! I tried to gain weight in vain until I became comfortable with my slim shape! Now I’m satisfied, they can talk. But mind you, they don’t!

  16. 1st July 2018 / 1:03 am

    Girl! I am right there with you! I always struggled with my body weight and I wasn’t happy with how I looked. But I realized that we are so much more than our outside and we should love all of us. That is what I am actually focusing on my blog, body image and body positivity! Keep it up, you look amazing!

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      1st July 2018 / 8:44 am

      ❤️❤️❤️

  17. 1st July 2018 / 7:21 am

    I can definitely relate to this. I have been slim for most of my life but I was ridiculed by managers, friends and family for being too slim. It was natural, and then as soon as I started IVF my body changed and I put on weight and people kept questioning if I was pregnant or how far gone I was. Rude!! I was never succcessful with IVF and haven’t been able to shake it off. But I love my body no matter what.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      1st July 2018 / 8:45 am

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  18. Annemarie LeBlanc
    1st July 2018 / 10:23 am

    I always give more importance to personality than figure/weight. Some people may be the sexiest person on earth but if they do not have a positive aura, I would distance myself from them. I have many family members who are “fat” but we don’t do body shaming. As long as we are comfortable in our own skin, beauty shows. It is what is inside that is important.

  19. Dogvills
    1st July 2018 / 5:05 pm

    I have been a little on the chubby side since I was a child. Sure, it was cute when I was a kid, but once I got into high school, my confidence just flew out the window. Suddenly, chubby was not cute anymore. As I got older, married and had kids, I did not care anymore. My husband loves me as I am, and my kids adore me. That is enough for me. My husband always reminded me that women are more critical of other women about looks. He said men don’t think that way. Most men like women with “meat on their bones.” 🙂 I would not even call women on the chubby or heavy side as “fat.” They are better described as “voluptuous.” 🙂

  20. 2nd July 2018 / 4:54 pm

    No matter your shape or size ,colour etc we are all beautiful. I just hate when people to shame others, personally i believe it is that they are insecure.

  21. 4th July 2018 / 10:38 am

    Good you are campaigning and spreading the word about these issues. Everyone is beautiful and comments like this shouldn’t be said.

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