You Are Pretty! You Know, For A Slut

This is one that I was desperate to write about! Slut Shaming. So many girls came forward for this but then backed out last-minute. This is literally because all though they knew it was a good cause they didn’t want to be seen as something they weren’t or labelled. But I thought it was so important to talk about I thought I’d step in myself.

Let’s just get the main point out-of-the-way. It’s fine for men to have sex with whoever they want, to overly sexualise people, and joke about sex, talk about sex and even have competitions about sex. Men are allowed to be sexual beings. Women are not. And some people will say that’s just how it is but I don’t believe it should be.

The idea that girls should stay virgins for men who are not so they can get off on it is just sad and pathetic. There I said it! I remember a guy reading a comment in one of my private group chats with female friends and he turned around and said “Oh my god she talks like me and my friends about sex, nah that’s disgusting I’m not interested anymore.” Again ridiculous. The pressures of not being allowed to talk about sex yet know exactly what’s okay and “normal” in safe sex situations is becoming more and more worrying. The derogatory words ‘slut’ and ‘slag’ need to stop being used and Women need to start building their confidence when it comes to talking about sex.

GIRLS STOP CALLING OTHER GIRLS SLUTS.

Girls please start realising that it’s okay for women to go out and practice safe sex. Unless it’s with your current boyfriend you should not be giving a shit. There I said it! And I get it I use to be like you too… when I was like 14… because society told us that’s how it should be. We all know it’s not. Now I am not going out and saying everyone go on a ‘shagging spree’ but if you like someone and you feel comfortable with all possible outcomes of the situation and you are not hurting anyone including yourself, go do it. You having sex does not make you a bad person and it’s not shameful.

CLOTHING DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SLUT.

If a girl wants to wear a bra and pants out… she might be flipping freezing but, that does not make her a slut. I know that’s an extreme example but its true. She could have not slept with anyone her whole life. You do not know her. Stop judging. I use to get this one all the time and let’s be honest I probably still do behind my back. I got told I look like a “prostitute” when I wore a corset top and get told to “put my boobs away” in clothing all the time. A random woman even came over to me in a pub once really embarrassed to tell me the top of my bra was showing and then proceeded to pull my top up by half an inch. “OH GOD NO THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND I AM BEING SO PROVACTIVE.” Like chill, get over it. I have big boobs. We all know this. We can see this. It is not a secret. I’ve had them since I was like 14 and I proudly grew them myself. Like yeah I got them from my dad. I could be in a bin bag and you will still see my boobs. No matter what. I actually often buy bras with pretty edges so they work as part of my outfit! In fact I have gone out in the exact same outfit as a friend and she apparently looked “good” and my comments were “your boobs!” and we were in turtle necks!! Most of my clothing that you think is low-cut is actually tops you have but I just fill it out more. Having naturally big boobs does not make me a slut. Wearing shorts and t-shirt dresses does not make me a slut. No item of clothing will make me a slut.

SHE IS NEVER ASKING FOR IT.

This just has to be covered too… if a girl has a “reputation” (which you probably half made up and gave her) she is not asking for all men to sleep with her. Unless she clearly tells you herself, she is not asking for it. Stop making excuses for rape culture. If a girl is wearing any outfit that you in your head think is revealing or she’s showing her body in any way she is not asking for men to sleep with her. Stop turning women’s confidence and the ability to be proud of their bodies into something it’s not. Unless she clearly tells you herself, she is not asking for it. Stop making excuses for rape culture. I could be led naked in front of you. Unless I tell you to touch me or say it is ok then you can not touch me. I am not asking for it. And boys it is that simple.

This is me!

This is how society wants me to be :

And to be fair most nights (minus the bible) this is actually me 😂

And this is how people see me when they hear a rumour or I wear a “low cut” top:

So which representation is me I hear you ask! All of them. I can be all of these. I can be a mixture of all of these images. Or I can be in certain mood for a certain day. That does not make me a slut. It does not make me a slag. It does not mean I am asking for anything because trust me, I am not. Stop judging people on rumours and looks and start judging people by how they treat you as a person.


“I would rather be a slut than a slag.”


This is normally the part where I list all the amazing qualities about the model representing the campaign issue but I feel a little cringe doing it for my self so I am just going to leave you with. I am Pretty! You Know, for any kind of girl.

Don’t forget to check out our last campaign post; You Are Pretty! You Know, For A Fat Girl.

You can hit Me up on insta; @iyalouisas. 

And for photography our photographer as always is @graceeperryphotography or you can find her on her new site here.

33 Comments

  1. Walker
    1st July 2018 / 12:14 pm

    Incredible as always! So glad this is being spoken about and this article actually brought a tear to my eye! You’re an incredible women, please keep up the good work!

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      1st July 2018 / 4:00 pm

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      1st July 2018 / 4:00 pm

      Thank you x

  2. 1st July 2018 / 10:22 pm

    “OH GOD NO THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND I AM BEING SO PROVACTIVE.” This quote made me literally laugh out loud. I used to get a lot of crap for wearing jean skirts or skinny jeans with tall fur boots. I thought the boots were cute for heaven’s sakes!! I loved this article. The topics you covered are really important to discuss so that one day we can eliminate the double standards that exist between men and women.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      1st July 2018 / 11:02 pm

      Clothes are clothes haha👌🏽 thank you so much

  3. 2nd July 2018 / 11:16 am

    This is AMAZING! I’m actually lost for words! You are such an inspiration, and well done on a fantastic post! You’ve literally said and covered everything that needs to be said in todays society!

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      2nd July 2018 / 1:27 pm

      Thank you so much ❤️

  4. 2nd July 2018 / 11:13 pm

    Thanks for covering a topic most wouldn’t!

  5. Geraline Batarra
    3rd July 2018 / 2:10 am

    I really enjoyed reading this article and I am so happy that you are able to tackle this sensitive topic and I hope this topic will able to change person’s point of view.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      3rd July 2018 / 6:23 am

      ❤️❤️

  6. Tawnya
    3rd July 2018 / 4:54 am

    Women should be able to dress however they want, and men need to have more respect. Having said that, as a women it’s important to make smart choices for your safety. It may not be right, but it’s better to be safe. I’m very careful about where I go and what situations I put myself in for this very reason.

  7. 3rd July 2018 / 9:41 am

    You are an amazing and gorgeous woman, and so inspirational!!! This is a topic that needs to be spoken more about and thank you for speaking up xx

  8. 3rd July 2018 / 11:23 am

    It’s a word that I have always hated because it’s always used against women and most of the time it’s our fellow women who uses it. I have so much respect for you for being so honest and open about this.

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      3rd July 2018 / 11:23 am

      Thank you!

  9. 3rd July 2018 / 12:38 pm

    So brave, so inspirational and so awesome you are Iya! I wouldn’t talk of such a topic as such but for a fact, you’ve said it all! I just don’t like how a lady will criticize a fellow lady and even call her a slut instead of understanding her!

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      3rd July 2018 / 12:38 pm

      Thank you! And Agreed ❤️

  10. 3rd July 2018 / 1:17 pm

    This was such an interesting read and an honest, open and frank account of your feelings on the subject x

  11. 3rd July 2018 / 2:47 pm

    Gosh this is shocking in this day and age, and yet really not altogether surprising when I think of my own experiences. Great post, thank you for sharing!

  12. 3rd July 2018 / 7:20 pm

    your content and images are perfect! they speak volumes ! thank you for addressing this topic

  13. 3rd July 2018 / 8:21 pm

    You bring so much female empowerment, I love it!

  14. 3rd July 2018 / 11:38 pm

    I agree with you every word you said. I mean wrote lol. Excellent written and soooooo true. Thank you 💝💝💝😊😊🙋🙋

  15. 4th July 2018 / 7:01 am

    I really don’t understand the world anymore. There are women out here who are trying to “take back” the word slut. Or even crazier, they try to take back the C word. I guess I just don’t see why you want the word. And ultimately while I agree it’s not fair to say men and women should act differently, I think it would be better if men changed to be more chaste and more discerning and not treating women like objects instead of encouraging women to act more like men.

  16. 4th July 2018 / 9:55 am

    I am sick of people slut shaming. Clothing doesn’t make anyone a slut. The truth is people see what they want to see.

  17. Jennifer Prince
    4th July 2018 / 10:53 pm

    Has someone actually said this to you? I’m curious if you are creating scenarios or if it’s something you and these other ladies/men have encountered. Interesting!

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      5th July 2018 / 8:12 am

      All have the models have encountered the behaviour that we have spoken about. None of this has just been made up

  18. 5th July 2018 / 8:11 am

    Lovely posts. I’m happy that basically nobody around me uses that word to describe any girl or woman around. And that’s definitely how it is supposed to be. I hope people around you will realize that as well. ❤️

  19. kim
    5th July 2018 / 11:59 am

    I so hate that word and think it’s just so awful to call women that. Just because someone dresses a certain way, does not mean they’re a slut.

  20. 6th July 2018 / 5:14 am

    That word is so horrible I can’t even imagine calling another girl or woman that. Everyone has their own views about engaging in sex based on their personal beliefs and religion.

  21. 6th July 2018 / 9:38 pm

    Yes girl! This is such an important topic to discuss and you did it in lots of detail and very well. I totally agree with you. Also I think you’re stunning, but most importantly you have confidence to make decisions that are right for you and that’s wonderful xx
    Alys
    https://alysjournals.com/

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      7th July 2018 / 1:16 am

      Thank you!! Xxxx

  22. 7th July 2018 / 2:07 pm

    i love the way that you write and the topics that you tackle. this is such an important thing for people to read and talk about and i’m so happy that you openly are discussing it. go you! and thank you for that.

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