How I am dealing with being Dumped/How to deal with a breakup

How I am dealing with being Dumped/How to deal with a breakup

I am back in the blogging game and well as you can tell by the status I am newly single. Yep. It’s been about a month or so. What happened? Well long story short I was dumped during our holiday. I won’t give too many shitty details but weirdly I have came home to a lot of people becoming single and I’ve been asked for tips and “How have you even coped with that?”.

I felt friendless. I felt lost. I felt hopeless. I felt lonely. I felt useless. I just felt like a terrible human.  

Then I had situation after situation chucked at me. And of course as you’ve just read; pure heartbreak. I have actually shocked myself during this time. I thought I would have been sat in every single day crying, mourning a future I had planned for which I am no longer going to have. Don’t get me wrong I do have a little cry every other day (or sometimes a break down where I antagonise over every detail and think how it could have been different). But as a whole I am doing way better than I thought I would have. 

But enough about me. Here’s what you’re reading this for, well unless you just came to be nosy and see how my break up went, which is cool.

How to handle a break up

1. Know that it’s okay to feel shitty.

But don’t spend your time lying in your bed every day feeling depressed because then it becomes a cycle which will be hard to break.

2. If you randomly cry thats cool.

Honestly I still randomly cry now (also been chucked a few curve balls aha). But at the start I would cry over everything and anything.

3. Keep yourself busy!

Go out, work out, start a new course, learn something new. Do whatever you want as long as you are out or doing something. Put your makeup on, dress up. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good.

4. Surround yourself with good friends. 

Make sure you have a group of friends you can chat too, get deep with and of course eat with. I had friends from all over help me. Emily in Leeds called me and checked in on me everyday even when I was in Cyprus waiting for my emergency flight home. I have Natalie giving me 24hr care. Tash and Grace (Yes photographer @graceeperryphotography) coming for girls nights and even Grace bringing me presents because she’s cute AF. I went to Bristol to spend a very uh drunk / deep chat night in with Megg (no I am not recommending pink gin as a solution to your problems). Then i’ve had old friends just check in on me. Get you those kind of friends and people around you.

5. Trust your Mum.

Yeah I know it sounds stupid and annoying when she’s telling you “you’re better off without him” but she’s spilling the tea sis.

6. Its okay to eat food that is probably not great for you…

Just keep it to a minimum of a couple of days (or two weeks if you are me). For the first couple of days or whenever some shocking revelation would happen I wouldn’t want to eat at all and then after it’s like what will I not eat? If you are going to go in I recommend Halo Top Ice cream, not sponsored unfortunately… if they want too then I am here… just saying. But it’s only around 320-360 cals for a whole tub. So you can be that female stereotype eat your break up ice cream and not feel guilty.

7. Don’t meet up for a chat.

 It will not be worth it and leads to pure hatred. Trust me on this one.

8. BUT learn its okay to hate someone and still have feelings for them. 

Just turn that negativity into motivation.

9. Don’t spend time arguing with them…

It’s hard. I’ve done it, you’ve probably already done it. But at the end of the day it’s a waste of your energy. Do as I say not what I do haha

10. Get back out there!

Best way to get over someone is under… actually never mind. But there’s no harm in talking to people and just seeing what’s out there. You don’t have to date or meet someone until you’re ready. I go through stages of fuck it if he’s doing it I will. Then decide it’s not time haha. Honestly it’s different for everyone but a least leave it a couple of weeks first!

11. Don’t pack up their stuff yourself.

If they lived with you or they have stuff left at yours the worst thing you can do is pack It up yourself going down memory lane. Also them coming round to pack is also not ideal. Get a friend or family member to do it for you; or at least help you. A bin bag for their stuff is cool.

12. Never underestimate how good a hug from your Mum can be.

Or alternatively your dog.

13. Remove them from social media.

You can literally drive yourself mad checking on them. 

14. Remove them from your life… 

Ok yeah their already gone but if you are me and have hundreds of photos up, kept all your memories like champaign corks etc.. bin that shit.

15. Don’t let them ruin places and things for you.

Honestly day one at the gym I lasted 2 minutes on a treadmill before I started crying and went home. I even cried whilst eating a pot noodle because he use to make me them. At the start it’s tough but don’t let them ruin stuff. He almost ruined Cyprus for me, somewhere I spent the majority of my childhood making memories but as Was said to me “delete that shit and replace it with good memories”.

16. Don’t feel embarrassed about being broken up with.

Like I said at the start I based my self worth on it. I also felt embarrassed about no longer being loved and being dumped on a holiday I didn’t even want to tell people. Then I realised it wasn’t me that looked bad so now I just say. Sometimes I’ve even laughed about it.

17. Most importantly : Make sure you’ve learnt from it.

I now know exactly what I deserve and exactly what I now want from a future relationship.

So what is the plan now and what am I planning on posting?

Honestly the plans quite loose haha and I am going to do these little life updates/diary style pieces for me rather than my audience just to catch a breather. As well as rants, maybe some new foodie posts, fashion Inspo etc… let’s just see! The only part of the plan I am sure on Is that I want to post on a Sunday, Wednesday and a Friday. As for my love life… who even knows.

Iya – Louisa 💁🏽🖤

Oh and enjoy this clip from Mine and Meggs night in… Drink responsibly.

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2 Comments

  1. Mum
    14th August 2019 / 1:35 pm

    So glad your back , another chapter closed in the book of life and a brand new one just beginning. My hugs are here whenever you need one x

    • iyalouisa
      Author
      14th August 2019 / 1:36 pm

      ❤️❤️❤️

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